• Jessica

What I've Learned About Love

Updated: Mar 8, 2019

As Valentine's Day has just come and passed, I figured what better timing than now to write about LOVE!


For some people they may be wishing for love, others may be complete hopeless romantics, some may be madly in love with someone and others may not be so fond of it. However, bad or good experiences I think love is beautiful in so many ways. Something I have learned is that it is never perfect, relationships are never easy but they can be perfect for you and worth it all.


Story time- I have been a hopeless romantic for as long as I could understand what it was and yet never really had an example of a true lasting love in my life. I come from a divorced family- at the age of 4-ish, I learned the hard way love doesn't always work out. Maybe I clung to romantic comedies as a way to believe in love. They gave me hope and definitely set unrealistic expectations as they usually do among young women. Even though I am the biggest hopeless romantic, I also was so scared of love as I got older. It is a scary thing to trust someone completely and be vulnerable with someone to the point they know everything about you. Especially now a days, finding someone who is truly loyal to you and wants to be with you and only you can be difficult.


I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now and I can say that it is still scary! It is also amazing and indescribable to love someone and to be loved back. There are so many pieces to love that a movie can't show, that people may not tell you, and that you never expect. There will be ups and downs, however good and bad will show how you are meant to be with someone.


Here are a few things I've learned from love:


Don't let fear hold you back

Like I mentioned, love is scary. If you're like me- seeing failed relationships time and time again makes it so hard to believe that you will find love. If you get the chance to experience it, you still might have that fear that it will never last for you. BUT- you have to realize that you are the only one who will hold yourself back. If you are scared, you can not love fully or whole heartedly. You will always pull back.


Now it isn't easy but you have to push past those thoughts. Love is great and maybe your first love won't be your last, but I believe there is someone for everyone. If you hide from love you will never find your person. You won't enjoy all the good in a relationship.


Learn to Communicate

This was definitely a tough one for me. I am one to hold in my feelings because I tend to just "get over it". Being in a relationship has pushed that comfort level so far for me. Even to this day, I still will let something bug me for up to an hour until I cave and realize I have to say something. Communicating will make or break a relationship and you will end up only hurting yourself by not speaking up.


Your significant other can't read your mind ( I am the worst with this!) and you have to realize unless you speak it then it stays with you. Even if it doesn't necessarily get fixed or changed or resolved, being able to talk about anything and everything can only help the bond between both of you.


LISTEN

Listen to what your significant other has to say, listen to how they feel, and make it a point to understand what matters to them. If you don't try and see what is important in their life, you will never be able to connect with them in those ways. Maybe it's passing on a game night or evening out with their friends, or maybe it's passing up the opportunity to do something they love.


You have to recognize the little things that your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/wife/husband loves and share that with them. Now I'm not saying pick up every hobby they do and jump into every aspect of their life. Just take the time to understand the importance of what your significant other shows or tells you.


Love Always

This is something that I find so important and constantly think about. Love your significant other always. Don't let them stay angry if you get into an argument. Love their imperfections. Love through the hard times that may come. Love just the same when you are at an all time high. Love the little things about each other that you learn as you get closer.


If you're angry at your significant other but still would rather be by their side then apart, I think that means something. If you love even the things that annoy you at times, that means something. If you can love that person through everything - then your relationship is that much stronger.


Trust

Society makes this one so hard. This might be one of the hardest yet most important aspect in love. You have to trust your significant other. It is very clear if you do not have that trust with each other. Life around us gives us every reason not to trust out of assumptions and false expectations. Whether you have your own life experiences or watch people close to you go through circumstances, that takes a toll on how you view men or women.


The sucky part is that you truly don't know what will happen, if you will get hurt or if someone will be by your side till the very end. BUT, if you can't learn to trust in a relationship.. it's probably not going to go very far. You are always going to be insecure and find reasons in your head or think up situations that could happen. At the end of the day, you have to trust that the person you love will never do that no matter what the world says. You also need to decipher between not trusting that person or just being scared to trust someone because you're scared to get hurt.


You can never say 'I Love You' too much

This is something I definitely do way too often. I think that when you love someone you should make sure they know. Especially in a relationship, the other person should never doubt how much you love them. You need to show them and tell them because often we get stuck in a routine in life and we tend to let little things slide.


Never get tired of saying I love you, never stop making your significant other laugh, never stop appreciating them and showing them how much they mean to you. When you let the romance slide from a relationship - it definitely will have an effect. Whatever your thing is, whether you always say good morning, or make your significant other coffee, or bring home flowers - don't stop. Keep the little things alive in your relationship!



I hope you all enjoyed this post about love and can relate. I hope you took away from the things I've learned. Most importantly I hope you love madly, deeply, and wholeheartedly one day. I hope you all experience love and how it feels to be loved. I hope everyone who is in a relationship - appreciates and never takes their partner for granted. I hope everyone who isn't in a relationship - will not search out love but let love find you.


Until Next Time,


Your Sunflower

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