• Jessica

Living Life Means Being Alone Sometimes

Updated: Nov 27, 2018

I still remember the first time in College I decided to go by myself to get a bagel, and not get it to-go. So simple, I know. Something about sitting alone in a place full of people who are enjoying the company of someone else can be intimidating. Whether it's a restaurant, coffee shop, cafe, etc. Maybe it was the fact that I cared too much about what other people thought. Or maybe it was the fact I would have to just sit in silence, doing my own thing. I'm a talkative person, so for me that is almost impossible to sit somewhere with no one to talk to. Or so I thought. There's a few stages of being alone;

Scared and Nervous

What will people think? "I promise I have friends!" Your mind might be racing, you're looking for any and all the other people alone there. What are they doing? Do they feel as awkward as I do?

This isn't too bad, I can just listen to music and no one will notice me

This is the moment you relax for half a second and realize it'll be okay. You're not 100% comfortable with it but you'll survive. Everyone's too busy with themselves, doing their thing, you're good!

Eye contact isn't too bad, just wave and keep eating

This is the moment you accept the fact that you are alone and people can see that. Some people are even nice enough to say hi and acknowledge your presence. Not sure if that makes the toll of awkward moments rise or not but it's progress? right?

Excitement, you done did it and you can now say you are a independent young adult who doesn't need anyone else.

Nothing can stop you now! You made it, you're comfortable with it, and you will do it again!

Now my inspiration came from the fact that I am indeed sitting ALONE in a cute coffee shop, applying for jobs. A few years ago I would have avoided going anywhere by myself. Once you get the initial first time out of the way it changes everything. You learnnot to care, you learnto enjoy yourselfand most importantly YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. Why hold yourself back from going out somewhere just because you would sit alone. I am not a fan of sitting home all day and if you're like me you need to get out and do something, even if it's by yourself.

Everyone at some point will come to this realization and it's pretty funny looking back thinking I was too nervous once upon a time. It's silly really! What's better than people watching, enjoying your music, and not having to just sit at home. That's the turning point when you will start living your life independently. To be comfortable on your own is one of the best things you can do for YOURSELF. Go to that restaurant you want to try, get your favorite latte at that new coffee place, take a walk and explore a new place. The world is at YOUR fingertips if you chose to grab it.

Living life independently will also teach you how to be ok with being alone and how to occupy your time. You can't be with your friends all the time, you can't be with your family all the time so you need to learn to do things for yourselfand by yourself. Being ok alone also means not NEEDING other people. It is a valuable lesson to learn not to need others. When you rely on others, you're almost living your life on their time.

People often are too nervous and don't do the things they will enjoy. You are missing out on the world when you chose to be scared. Nothing good ever comes from staying in your comfort zone. It is the moment you put yourself where you feel uncomfortable you will change and start seeing the world. Don't let life pass you by because you're doing it alone right now. Enjoy your independence while you have it.

Until Next Time,

Your Sunflower

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