My Secret To Igniting Passion In Your Relationship
Updated: Jun 30
110% I believe that date nights are necessary, regardless what part of your relationship you are in.
Like all things in life, we go through different phases in a relationship.
When you just start out, the honeymoon phase
When you get past boundaries and find comfort
When you decide to take the next step and make it serious
Finding comfort in living together or being with them more than you're apart
Deciding to build a life together
Back to finding comfort in your routine and life.
If you notice, big things spark a relationship like lighting a fire! We also see the flame get dull when you come to a point of comfort and living your day to day together. Sometimes the romance fizzles out, or maybe you get stuck in a rut of just going to work, coming home, making dinner and going to bed. This doesn't mean you aren't in love, you are just not prioritizing the romance and passion a relationship brings.
It is so easy to get caught up in living your routine when there is no big moment to excite you. ESPECIALLY in this time. I think dates serve as your big moment to keep your fire burning so bright. You need to make each other happy and create moments that you two can share alone. Quality time together will be one of the most refreshing things you can do. Whether you have a stay at home date or go out- one on one time with NO PHONES will go a long way. Putting thought into the time shared will remind your partner you listen or you know them.
Recently, my fiancè took 'Hey, want a snack?' to a whole different level. SO SIMPLE- he said "go take your shower I have an idea"and he made a whole board of difference cheeses, crackers, and pepperoni (My favorite snack) and set out two wine glasses with my favorite wine. He lit a few candles, and put on a movie. It was something so small yet so significant to my heart. We put our phones down and just enjoyed the time together. It set my heart on fire!
It is in these moments you reignite the romance in your relationship or you find pure happiness in the midst of stress. We need to light the fire constantly to make each other happy. Being in love means making a commitment to one another. It means through thick and thin, exciting or boring times - that is your person. SO why not avoid the boring and routine life- put your effort into spicing it up!
Dates aren't the only way to ignite a fire in your significant other's heart, just one of my favorites!
Here are a few ways you can ignite your relationship!
DATE Day or date NIGHT
As I mentioned, Dates are my favorite way of reigniting passion and romance. It doesn't have to be big or expensive, it just requires a little thought. If you have kids, get a babysitter! Regardless date day/ date night should be a regular thing you do. Come up with a rule in your relationship, maybe it's once a month committing to a date on a certain day. Or maybe it's every other week or even one night a week. Making that time to commit to your significant other is so important to keep your life exciting.
NOTES AND LOVE LETTERS
What is sweeter than a thoughtful note to your surprise as you make your morning coffee, get ready for the day, or that you stumble upon mid day. Whether you live together or aren't there yet- notes and love letters can be used to tell your feelings and put your heart on your sleeve. It can be as simple as, 'I Love You' 'You're Beautiful', or you can write out exactly how you're feeling.
Personally, I always loved writing letters and when I got in my relationship with my now fiancé, I used to write him infrequent letters. Whenever we took an adventure and I would capture a memory, I would mail him our photo and a letter telling him how much I loved everything we did and how much I loved him.
SPICE IT UP
What is something you're not doing now, that you want to try? TRY IT. Find new things to spice up and liven up your relationship. Spicing it up doesn't have to refer to something sexual either- how you interpret this is entirely up to you. Make sure you are incorporating trying new things, this is one of the best ways to get out of a rut of doing your routine. You might even find a new favorite thing between you two that will become a more consistent activity or date night.
For us, I have a list of things I want to do or date nights I would love to try. It has everything from archery to cooking classes, all new things we have never done before. I can't say we use this list all the time- BUT we have it when we are choosing a date night. The option of doing something new is always there and on hand.
GO WITH THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT
Being spontaneous is something I used to pride myself on, not as much anymore. It's easy to go through stages of life and lose adventurous parts of you, but when you realize it is being lost it's important to get back. Relationships NEED spontaneity. There needs to be moments where you say F*** it LET'S GO! Let's do that thing. Let's get in the car and drive. Even in a passionate sense, often everyday romantic moments get little thought because you're tired or busy or your mind is a million places. GO WITH THE MOMENTS. Don't put as much thought into it. It is when we sit back and think about all that is on our plate, or work, or cleaning that we ditch these moments of love or adventure because we overwhelm ourselves.
TAKE A TRIP
There is nothing like taking a trip and traveling with your significant other. Seeing new places, trying new food, or getting out in the culture of a foreign place. For some of us, it is a beach trip to get away and relax- or maybe it is a weekend in a cabin in the mountains- or the adventurous ones might go to another country and walk the streets of a new city.
Getting away from life is often a relaxing and refreshing time. It serves as a break and can be the ultimate way to reignite a fire in your relationship. Something about not having any responsibilities, work, or stress just gives you the space to be with each other.
FOCUS ON EACH OTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGE
Take a step back and think of how you have been interacting lately. Have you been speaking your significant other's love language? If not, find ways to love them how they need to be loved. AND, if you aren't getting what you need- speak up and make it known to your significant other. Often we can forget and get caught up with life that we don't realize that we are slacking in the love department. We don't always realize our other half might be desperately needing a certain form of affection.